Dude, vampires are statistically impossible! Now pass that shit!
Admit it. It’s ok. We’ve all had them.
Of course I’m referring to doubts about the existence of vampires. Thankfully, mathematics has stepped in and answered the question for us once and for all. Some guy, I mean “Professor”, in Florida, in between bouts of Zuma on the 360 and totally destroying various bags of fried snack food, has applied science in an effort to assuage our fears about having our blood sucked out of our bodies by another humanoid.
It is because of exactly this fear that I haven’t slept in 8 years.
You can read more about his method here, but really, why would you? Also, if you find yourself in Florida, punch this guy in the face for me.