Proper disposal.

We’ve all heard the many ways we can properly dispose of items that are either holy or embedded into the nationalistic spirit. The American flag is a good example of the ritualistic nature of getting rid of a tattered symbol.

The US Forest Service has a method for burning another national icon. They are now publishing instructions on how to properly burn Woodsy the Owl costumes. Yes the wondrous owl that gave a hoot will now be ignited with beauracratic approval.

You younger readers may not be familiar with the environmental owl, but he came onto the scene in a wave of cartoon characters lecturing you on how to be a great American. Smokey the bear held you personally responsible for destroying habitats and McGruff told you in no uncertain terms that you were to be a great crime fighter. It was Woodsy’s great mission to emplore children not to pollute lest you make an Indian cry.

For those of you who do own a tattered Woodsy costume, and I know there are many, the instructions are below:

1. Incinerate the complete costume with the oversight of an official USDA Forest Service law enforcement officer*.

2. The entire Woodsy Owl costume including each of the separate pieces is to be destroyed beyond recognition.

* If you do not have access to an official USDA Forest Service law enforcement representative, arrangements will be made for dealing with your costume by contacting the USDA-FS Washington Office at:

Woodsy Owl
C/o National Symbols Program
P. O. Box 96090
Washington, D. C. 20090-6090

Destroying Old Woodsy Owl Costumes – Guidelines


~ by wiwille on September 20, 2006.

One Response to “Proper disposal.”

  1. I like that there’s a “National Symbols Program”. Somebody works there. Every weekday, somebody gets up and gets ready to go to work. How do you end up working there? What career path do you go down to be in charge of, presumably among other things, proper disposal of Woodsy the Owl costumes.

    “Where do you work?”
    “Oh, I work for the National Symbols Program.”
    “You know, Smokey…Woodsy…”

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