Willtuck 0, Arby’s 1

Bored with the normal choices for lunch, I took a chance today on Arby’s. This fast food chain ranks about 23rd on my list of places I’ll go for food of questionable quality. I’ve long maintained that their “roast beef” is neither roasted nor actually beef (discuss).

I opted for the “Chicken Salad Sandwich Combo”, a nice looking deli style sandwich (a market relatively new to Arby’s, probably to compete with the Schlotsky’s out there), an order of curly fries (which can’t really be messed up) and a medium-largish soda of my choosing, today Sierra Mist.

When I get back to my ce-…er cube, I lay everything out, perform my ritualistic chanting and bite into the sandwich.


What the shit? Opening the sandwich, I discover…pecans? There are fucking pecans in my chicken salad sandwich? Who thought this was a good idea? Where in this country is this a normal thing?

I’m pissed. Lunch is a special thing, coming around only once every 24 hours. There are no do overs for a day’s lunch. You don’t get a second chance.

To summarize:

Curly Fries:                                     Tasty

Medium Largish Sierra Mist:              Tasty

Chicken Salad Sandwich with Pecans: Balls

Has-been pop singer Terence Trent D’Arby, who should sue for wrongful use of his name to promote semi-edible shite.


~ by willtuck on August 23, 2006.

4 Responses to “Willtuck 0, Arby’s 1”

  1. Update:

    Apples! There are also apple chunks in my sandwich! Goddamnit! What’s wrong with the original chicken salad formula?

    No more Arby’s ever.

  2. The other day I made tuna fish salad with celery in it. I viewed this as a bit of a departure; I can’t even imagine nuts and fruit as well.
    They should have had a disclaimer next to the meal warning people away from actually ordering and consuming it.

  3. Hi Willtuck!

    “Has-been pop singer”?
    To inform you: he still is singing alright and just released a double album called “Angels & Vampires – Volume I & II” which is available for download on his site 🙂

    Plus you can find many other songs free download to as well at the MUSIC section.


    his webmistress

  4. The chicken salad sandwich may be new itself, but I’d never know it. When at Arby’s I stick to the tried and true: Beef’n’Cheddar, or the Chicken Cordon Bleu sandwich, or both.

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